The Blind Date
by Top 1 of the Top Dank Percent
Summary: Desperate for love, Chrom turns to the person he though he would never ask for dating advice. Owain does much more than give advice. He sets Chrom up on a blind date with the woman he was closest to: Severa. One Shot, Probably an AU as well, but who knows.


Author's Note - A little something to celebrate my 100th visitor. -1%

Chrom nervously adjusted his tie from outside of the restaurant. It was a rare occasion that he dressed up, and even rarer that he went out. He wasn't sure he could do this. It seemed almost like stooping to a new low. I mean, how many people go on a blind date set up for them by their nephew? Dispite all of that, he was excited. It had been too long since he had had a chance to even think about women, what with the war going on, and all. The temple bells tolled the hour. It was time. He took a deep breath, and plunged into the restaurant. As soon as he entered the room, he saw her. Her perfect form. Her perfect hair, the perfect shade of perfect red. He knew that he was out of his league. He took one more moment to calm himself, and walked over to her, with new hopes for the evening. Perhaps Owain wasn't incompetent after all.

Severa doubted that Owain was capable of setting her up with someone compatable. And when Chrom walked up to the table, she groaned. Of course it was him. It had to be him.

"H-hello. Are... Are you Selena?" Chrom stumbled, smitten by the beauty of the lovely creature before him.

"Well, I might as well get this over with." She mumbled. "Yes, I am Selena. You must be the man Owain was talking about." Chrom sat across from her, staring at her, and seemingly ignoring all that she said.

"Please, have a seat." She said sarcastically.

"Huh... Yeah." Chrom was obviously lost in her charms. Which she hadn't even used yet.

Severa was bored by the entire encounter. Chrom obviously didn't recognize her, or else he would be out of there as fast as he could go. He'd probably die of embarrassment. Hell, when he had first walked in, she almost died of embarrassment.

"So... Where are you from?" Chrom attempted to make small talk.

"Plegia." Severa answered. "I am a devout Grimleal, and pray for Lord Grima's return every day." The look that came over Chrom's face was to die for, and she choked down laughter. Chrom got up to leave, not saying another word to the extremely attractive woman he had just discovered was an enemy.

"You idiot." Severa exclaimed. "Just when I'm enjoying myself, you get up to leave? And stiff me with the bill? Thanks a lot Romeo. I can tell you care."

"But you said-"

"Oh, I know what I said. I just wanted to see you broken and defeated. It's kind of my thing. I assure you, I'm just as much of a Grimleal as you are." Chrom sat down, relief, and possibly lust, flooding back into his face.

Suddenly, a wicked idea entered Selena's head. Here, practically in her hand, she had access to the one thing her mother had wanted, but never could obtain. Internally, she grinned. This could be the best night she had had in a long time.

The waiter came over, bringing them their menus. Chrom thought he looked oddly familiar, but then looked at his date's face again, and forgot all about him.

Severa knew him immideatly. After they had ordered their drinks (She ordered a Pina Colada, and Chrom had done the same, probably trying to get closer to her), she stood up.

"I am SO sorry, Sir, but would you excuse me for just a second? I have business to attend to. Worry not, I shan't be long!" Chrom said nothing, but nodded. He watched her as she went, and made sure to watch every part of her. Did that make him a pervert? He was pretty sure it did. Regardless, his mind, heart, and soul were all consumed by this woman, who he had known for a grand total of 5 minutes now. Although... There was something familiar about her.

Severa walked up to the waiter.

"Can I help you?" He asked in a fake accent.

"Oh, cut the shit Frederick. Don't make me rip off that fake mustache."

"Fine. You have caught me, Severa. I came here to watch over Chrom on his date tonight. I feared poison, or perhaps an attack upon his person while in the restaurant. Of course, had I known the date would be you, I'd have brought backup. Why are you here, Severa?"

"That joke was so funny, I forgot to laugh."

"I never joke." Frederick interrupted quite seriously.

"Right. Anyways, I was just here on a blind date Owain set up for me, because why the fuck not? It turned out to be Chrom, and here we are."

"Perhaps this is too much to ask... But... You do not plan upon seducing milord, do you?"

"Eww! As if! Please, just leave us alone Frederick. This date is awful enough as is."

Frederick was visibly relieved. "Very well. I shall... Be right outside. If someone follows Chrom back to the castle, worry not! It is I!" Frederick flung off his fake mustache, and fled the scene. In a spur of whimsy, Severa put the fake mustache on, and went back to the table.

"I'm sorry, sir, but my date is sitting there." Chrom spoke to the mysterious mustached man who had sat in his goddess' spot.

"You dolt!" The man removed his mustache, revealing that he truly was his date.

"Oh." Chrom spoke. "I um... Already ate, while you were talking to the waiter."

Severa sighed. "I expect nothing less from you, Chrom. Now, please. I beg of you. Take a good, long, look at me. I tire of this charade."

Chrom looked at her with eager eyes.

"Hey! Not like that! Stop it!"

Chrom guiltily looked at her face.

"Better. Look into my eyes. Which are up here."

Chrom fixed himself again.

"Say... You are familiar... Do you know Cordelia at all? I feel the two of you sh-"

Severa flipped the table. "You fucking idiot! I'm her daughter! My name isn't Selena, it's Severa, and how dare you compare me to her! I'm my own woman!" Severa stormed out of the restaurant.

Chrom felt like bathing in a tub of bleach.


End file.
